They were sitting in the Subaru on the side of the road and it was snowing. If you looked at the parents you could see that both of them had teeth that were crooked, and all of their children did as well.

What will we do?

I’ll go in and straighten them myself with a pair of pliers, said the husband. I’ll straighten them.

Oh, Mel,” she said.

“Well, we have to get his teeth straightened.”

He is lazy. He can do the work.

LAZY IS NOT A REAL THING. LAZY IS FALSE.

LAZY IS A FALSE CATEGORY. IT IS LIKE: BAD. INSUFFICIENT.

Parked in the Subaru: Two parents, both with crooked teeth, both with many degrees.

You know, I liked you better before our conversations centered around dentistry. 

I likewise. I find the whole dentistry angle unfulfilling. Bland.

Yes.

Can’t we get rid of these kids? Can’t we get some new ones?

Maybe we could pretend. Pretend that we have all new kids.

Let’s rename them. Let’s. Tonight we’ll announce it.

So that night the kids all got new names. Henry became George, Linda became Michelle, David Became Leone and Frankie became Theo.

The children picked up on it not so quickly. It took some getting used to.

-----